I recently got chatting to a friend about the expectations society, friends and family place on us as travellers, expats, wanabe explorers or globetrotters. With various age milestones, comes a sense of urgency where we often feel we need to accomplish certain things or revert back to the traditional way of living. But as bloggers, travellers and freelancers we have tasted the freedom of forging our own pathways, careers and lifestyles and now we know better. Here are some travel and lifestyle myths which we have realised are not set in stone and a few people and friends who inspire us to live differently…
1. The ‘Settle Down’ Myth.
Hands up, how many of you travellers have been asked the question, “So when you are going to settle down? As a travel writer, photographer and teacher trainer, I want to answer, “Hopefully never.” According the Merriam-Webster dictionary, to settle down is to “become established in a dwelling place or in a permanent job, profession, or business: begin to live a normal life” or “to become inactive or sluggish”. Whilst I yearn to buy a house in my home city of Cape Town, use it as a base between trips, I most certainly don’t want to live a “normal life”.
What does that even mean? Have a house, an office job, kids, dogs and a mortgage? Since when does children mean giving up your dreams of travel? Kids of missionaries, diplomats, pastors grow up calling many countries home. Travel blogging couples allow their kids to fit in with their lifestyle. Sure, kids need stability, but who says you can’t “settle down in a number of different countries in your lifetime”?
A wonderful example of a travelling family is Family Without Borders. Together with their young children, the decided to live the life they always dreamt about. “For all who believe that ‘want’ means ‘can’. And that having a baby widens your life, not narrows it– like traveling!”
Find them on thefamilywithoutborders.com, Twitter @TheTravelFamily
Credit: familywithoutborders.com
2. What is a ‘real job’?
We are thankfully way past the era where medicine, law and accountancy are the only careers you are encouraged to pursue at school. We are in the age where location-independent work is the ultimate goal and totally possible. What makes teaching English in Asia for 8 hours a day (prepping for additional hours) or working online from Bali, Brazil or the Bahamas any less of a job if you enjoy it; it pays the bills and fuels the lifestyle you ultimately desire. If a real job means working in an office cubicle from 9-5pm in your own country doing something you are qualified in but don’t enjoy, I want no part of it. I want to design my life according to what I love and live that.
My travel writing mentor, Nellie Huang, is Editor-in-Chief of wildjunketmagazine.com and has worked hard to live a semi-nomadic lifestyle that keeps her and her husband, Aleberto, constantly on the road (and in Spain when we’re not traveling). She says,”we work more hours now than we have ever done in our past lives, and it wasn’t easy to get where we are today, but we’re extremely thankful for this fulfilling life. Here’s to more decades of traveling ahead of us!”
Find their adventures on wildjunketmagazine.com, Twitter @wildjunket
Credit: wildjunket.com
Travel editor, Narina Excelby,and her partner,Mark( freelance photojournalist), are making the nomadic lifestyle work whilst earning money along the road. They work and travel together, and “home is wherever they drop our kitbags.”
Find their work and journey on kitbaggers.com, Twitter @kitbaggers
Credit: kitbaggers.com
3. Wandering= lost.
Thank goodness for the wisdom of J.R.R Tolkien, “All that is gold does not glitter: Not all those who wander are lost”. If you’re no longer a student, backpacker or gap year go~getter still ‘wandering’ around this beautiful earth then good for you. I’m pretty sure none of us are lost but exploring with the goals of enriching your mind, discovering what it truly means to be human, earning a living abroad, collecting stories and capturing hidden beauty whilst your house and car all wait for you at home. We have one life, why not live it all around the world?
A wonderful example of a woman travelling with purpose, is Dawn Jorgenson. A natural explorer, story teller and photographer she finds a balance between life in Cape Town, her family and travel. She travels for work and for the love of it and certainly inspires us to live the life we desire.
Find her journey on theincidentaltourist.com, Twitter @DawnJorgensen
Credit: theincidentaltourist.com
4. True love abroad.
Like so many people I’ve heard before, my friend expressed worry at the thought that she may end up travelling so long that she won’t meet ‘the one’ for her. On what planet did we only start looking for our spouse/ soul mate/other half in our home countries? Travelling as a single woman, I always imagined that I would marry anyone else other than a citizen of South Africa (funnily enough I reunited with my South African husband-to-be whilst travelling outside of SA). I know countless numbers of couples who met their match in another country. And it’s often that when you go explore a way of life/college/volunteering opportunity or job you love elsewhere in the world that you may meet someone there with the same passion, goals and heart for life as you have.
Ishay Govender-Ypma is food and travel writer, blogger, cook and explorer who found love outside of her home country’s borders. “We travel as much as we can together, taking the office on the road. I write and photograph, he offers his excellent company at the dinner table. We both love to cook, and eat.”
Find her adventures here www.foodandthefabulous.com, Twitter @Foodandthefab
Credit: foodandthefabulous.com
So the moral of my story is…travel, ‘settle down’ for a little in many countries and find work that you love whereveryou may find yourself. The home, your dream partner, the family and rest will follow or possibly even find you wherever you go. Your home country will always be there, so shake off the expectations of others and go lead an extraordinary life.
Feature Image Credit: familywithoutborders.com
Do any of these stories sounds like yours? Do you long to lead a somewhat different life on and off the road? Have you travelled with kids yet? We would love to hear from you below…
This is such an impressive article! I love it. I am definitely part of it – I had quit my full-time job last year and moved to full-time travel blogging and freelance writing. It’s so much peace and fun, even though I make peanuts in terms of money. 🙂
Thanks for reading Renuke! Good on you for taking that step. We would like to move closer and closer to that, but freelancing as a couple has even more pressures. We are however loving our journey in travel blogging! Cheers
Wonderful article! I used to be asked these same questions all the time. But now, after 8 years of nomadic living, no one seems to question it anymore. Three cheers for all who are determined to create a live of travel – on their own terms.
Thank you! 8 years is very impressive. How do you make it work with income and being on the road? Always keen to hear how others make the nomadic life work. Enjoy
Wonderful article! I used to be asked these same ridiculous questions all the time. But now, after 8 years of nomadic living, no one seems to question our choices anymore. Three cheers for all the brave souls who are determined to live a life of travel – on their own terms.
Brave indeed! Do you have a base where you often return to or throw your anchor in for a bit longer? Cool site and some nice job offers, awesome that you can encourage others to travel and help them find jobs that allows for exploration. Thanks for reading 🙂
Here here! Especially on the ‘real’ job bit – I couldn’t agree more, even though technically we do hold a 9-5 currently. Lol. We still keep travel a big part of us. I’m so glad Vaughan commented on our post recently. It brought me to you and your blog is pretty awesome. You’ve also introduced me to some new bloggers to follow, so thanks for that too. Cheers!
ps, Nellie is an inspiration for us too! 😉
It’s our pleasure 🙂 My husband is currently the freelancer and I have a 9-1:30 pm which is great and hardly ‘full-time” but we are enjoying the freedom we have to travel and write. Hope we keep you entertained here on the blog. Will definitely check yours out too. Thanks for reading Kieu!
Great post Lauren! I’m sure any long-term traveler can relate. I’ve been traveling by bicycle, working as a scuba diving instructor along with my boyfriend for 2 years. We are able to sustain our lifestyle, even save some cash for traveling. We are happier and healthier than ever yet people still ask us when are we going to settle down or even worse..what do I want to be when I grow up!
The good news is times are changing and more people are discovering the truth that we can all live the life that we want and are finding freedom through long term travel. I love calling the world my home and wouldn’t give it up for anything 🙂
Thanks Amanda 🙂 Your life sounds like tons of fun especially the scuba diving part. Where have you instructed? We are keen to get our OW diving certificate soon. hehe to your ‘grown up’ question. We’ve just turned 30, so I’m guessing we may not be asked that question again 😉 If you’re striving for health, freedom, joy and exploration ( with enough income to sustain yourselves) what could be better? More people discovering this all the time, luckily we’ve all already got the memo. Happy travels
Hey Lauren. I’ve worked in Roatan in Honduras, Santa Catalina in California and Coiba National Park in Panama.
You should go for your OW soon, it opens so many amazing underwater experiences while traveling. Where are you two thinking of doing it?
Vaughan has already done his on Tioman Island, Malaysia. I’m pregnant at the moment so will have to do mine next year. Totally depends on where we land up 😉
I am STILL doing it! I went through a stage of thinking I might have a serious problem, because of all the pressure and expectations to settle down and be “normal” after living in Kenya as a child and then travelling for six years on a cruise ship, I decided to return to Africa and work in the bush! It’s as settled as I will ever be. Slowly I will make my way further north until I reach Kenya again. I started a blog as I have always been a keen writer and I found it to be so relaxing too. I then started a Facebook page called Made in Africa, after a tattoo I got in Mexico on my last adventure, when I decided it was time to return back to my place of birth. I AM IN NO MEANS PLANNING ON JOINING THE RAT RACE. Well done to all of you that follow your passion, curiosity and first love of travel, food, culture and people. X
Oh gosh, the rat race 🙁 Your story inspires me and what a proud thing to be able to claim ” Made in Africa!”. Where abouts in the bush do you work? We actually can’t wait to work near the bush of SA, how we miss our continent 🙂
Great read! We, myself, husband and two daughters (8/11) sold our family home in New Plymouth New Zealand and back packed for 18months. Australia, SEA, India, UK and Europe. The pinical of our trip was a voluntary position coaching the Tibetan Womens Soccer Team in India. Now we are home the biggest thing I miss, everyday, is community spirit! The community of other travellers and like-minded people! To ‘settle down?’ I still dont know the meaning of these two words 😉
Sounds like an epic family trip! And I can’t even imagine how much the trip blew your daughters minds. The community amongst travellers is often a wonderful thing.Heard New Zealand is pretty amazing too 😉
My husband and I met in Ecuador. I am from Uk/Spain and he is from the US. I hate the question people often ask us… Well where are you going to settle down?!? Hopefully never and no where. I find that people want you to live the same life they do to see their choices reaffirmed in your life, but we refuse to live that way!
That is totally true Sandra and so glad you guys have decided otherwise! Life is too short and the world is too big to stay in one place. Happy Travels!
I love to travel around the world. I have been visited a lot of beautiful and attractive places around the world. Few months ago I have been completed my USA trip with my friends. During this trip we have been decided to explore the beauty of this region by bus and taken the services of columbus to new york bus. We had a lot of fun and that was an awesome experience of my life.
Great to hear from your Arlen! Road tripping around the states is definitely on our list. Totally sounds like it was a great experience! Keep travelling 🙂
I loved this post. It covers a lot of what I think I would have to deal with more if I was more in touch with people back home. I like your point about true love. I tend to fall into this trap as well, but am trying to think differently (well, I was in a very long distance relationship with someone I met while traveling, so still coming to grips with it). Thankfully, I think my closest family and friends have accepted that I’m going to be out and around and don’t ask me these questions. One cousin does ask me when I’m going to save the world, though. hahaha
hehe, that is a question no one has asked me yet! So glad you enjoyed it. Long distance is really not easy but in mine and my husband’s case, it was worth it in the end. We were together on different sides of the globe for way over 2 years but we had a end goal in mind: marriage! Don’t stop travelling, your partner will come along somewhere along the way 🙂
SO true. I met my South African fiancé (I am a Kiwi) when I was living abroad. Your life should be on your terms, not based around the expectations of others.
Totally! good choice there- a South African hehe 😉
I loved this article! Just what I needed to read whilst going through massive changes in my life!
So glad to hear Stephanie, Good Luck!
I just wish there were more examples of families who would show how it is they live like that with older kids approaching college. I read a lot and met a lot of people sailing all over the word and most examples I can think of do actually “settle down” when it’s time for the kids to go through higher education…
Yip, I really would like to chat to more families doing long-term travel with kids of all ages. I don’t think settling down is not the worst thing, not travelling anymore is 😉
Glad to hear that other people struggle with the same “rules” as I do! Now to find a “job” that I love overseas.
Thanks for reading Chris! What kind of work would you be keen on doing?! Let us know and maybe we can point you in the right direction.
Love it.
Quite simply i believe there is a time in your life for everything. I personally spent 15 years travelling the globe and having the most amazing adventures in between living and running my own businesses in Ibiza. Working 6 months and 6 months on holiday. I now have a wife and 2 children aged 4 and 2 still living in Ibiza and loving the life I have carefully created to suit myself and my family. Travelling defined me, educated me, inspired me and in turn will do the same for my growing children. However now is not the time for travelling as education and schooling have to play and important part in any childs life. To live ¨on the wing` is great but it has to be finite as there is other stages and to be a wandering free spirited person means in my opinion to be young, carefree and childless, You need to hang up your backpack at least for a time to achieve a level of financial security and safety for a young family. But yeah, never stop doing what you love is the ponit. Viva la vida..jx
Totally agree JB. I am a full believer in the different seasons for everything. I know things will change quite drastically when we have kids. And I strongly desire to have a base, a home and a place of course where kids are schooled etc. But I hope to never stop travelling, short-term trips and documenting travel tales and stories on the road. Long-term travel has been great but I’m pretty keen to have one house I can always return to 😉
I cannot disagree with you more.They days of the”schoolhouse” are quickly becoming a thing of the past.People who live the nomadic lifestyle are finding it much easier and beneficial to home school their child.If you look in the news there are more and more terrible stories of perverse student teacher interactions and violence within schools among students.There is training to be able to pass end of the year tests,but there is not much education.I feel that a well rounded ,educated person is much more desirable than one who is perfect at studying for a test.If you want your children to be perfect test takers than, by all means , do so.But do not compare schooling to being educated, because they are clearly not the same.
Amazing article, Lauren! And so timely as I just IG’d a pic with a caption saying that while my biological clock is ticking, I’m okay with the kids of all my friends being my toddler’s babysitter 10 years from now when I finally “settle down”. Haha. But as far as I’m concerned, this is the only way I want to live. I will ride this train as long as I can! My youth and health aren’t guaranteed forever! Thanks again and check out my blog if you get a chance: http://www.TheBlogAbroad.com
-Glo
hehe, yes this train is a fabulous ride. And why put off any parts of life because you’re on the road or living in various countries in your lifetime? Will definitely check out your blog. Thanks so much
I haven’t seen any post like this for a while now-a post that would reflect my worries and concerns exactly the way I feel them, but at the same time lift my spirit. I have recently wondered about my life as a nomad and where this all was going. I have been thinking about my friends, who have their husbands, wives, steady jobs and who might soon buy houses. Meanwhile, I am 34 and teaching English in Thailand. I love it here, but I am thinking that it might not be the ‘real life’. Maybe I should go back…However, I don’t really want to…
I am glad that there are people out there, who live a similar life to me and can encourage me to do what I have been doing. Thank you for this post, Lauren.
My absolute pleasure. Why choose a life that you feel you SHOULD have and not the one you WANT to have? If you are making money, saving (for a future house maybe) and enjoying your current work in Thailand, no doubt this is enough. Plus there’s always the chance of meeting a life partner while you’re on the road 😉 Where abouts are you teaching in Thailand? Enjoy the ride!
Happy to report we love our life as a family choosing to not “settle down”.. We also agree that our one life ught to be lived exploring this beautiful earth. It’s not for everyone. .. although for us this is our preferred lifestyle. Travel with a child? Worldschooling? Roadschooling? Yes please! Work from anywhere? Doing it! No 9-5. House and cars? Been there, done that too. Simplified living. Own Less, live more? Absolutely. . Retired from the the rat race? The status race? The best thing ever!!
Love the sound of your lives!! Could you please pass your email address onto me as I will be elaborating on this piece and getting a lot more input from families living life differently. Thanks so much, Thanks for the inspiration!
Great article! Like many here, my boyfriend and I have been travelling since 2012, leading a semi nomadic lifestyle. Our lifestyle, whilst envied by some has been endlessly criticised by friends and family who claim we are wasting our lives by choosing travel over career development.
It is always a sticking point in conversation and a life we have to fight hard for every day for the life we live but we wouldn’t have it any other way. This isn’t a dress rehearsal so we are living to the fullest 🙂
Ive just turned 39 and for the last 5 years, ive been trying to live the “settled life”. I left my hometown, spain at the age of 22 n lived in ireland for almost 8 years. After a traumatic breakup, i returned home bit it didnt feel like it anymore so went off to china n taught english for 2 years. Now, i live in andorra have a good job, good salary but i feel like a fish out of water. I just work and dream of the summer when i will be able to take a month off to travel…In fact, im just back from Peru realizing that i need to get out of this life that doesnt agree with me n my outlook in life. However, im afraid. Im afraid of giving up a good job that i dont like but at least gives me money to do what i want.
What if i never get the chance of getting paid what im getting paid now? It took me years to find it! But is that enough? When i travel, i always meet great people with whom i truly connect. Unfortunately, thats not the case back home…
Also, i feel that maybe im too old but at the same time i feel that you are never too old to give yourself a chance to be happy. The settled life, whatever that means, was not meant for me…so thats why despite my fears im seriously considering of taking off once again. The road has always been the way. 🙂
Thanks for sharing Cristina, you’ve definitely had some incredible adventures and with those…lots of stories to share. we totally know how touch it is to give up steady-income jobs but at the end of the day if you can find a job that allows you to live and work in different countries, then why not? Often these kinds of jobs could pay less and be quite unregular in pay but I guess it comes to priorities. Have you considered or try to find location-independent work online that allows you to earn monthly and live wherever? We are trying to make our online work our main bread winner so we won’t have to go back to 9-5ivers but will have to see. Freelance work is always tough and involves tons of hard work, but which truly fulfilling path doesn’t? Good Luck with your next step, some of us were never meant to live in just one place 😉
Thank you Lauren for your insight. Im getting more and more convinced 🙂
With regards to online work, ive do you know any reliable websites? Given my eudcation and work experience (social care work and english teaching), im not sure if i stand a chance. I know there r tons of jobs for english teachers but im not native….
isn’t it great that we have the opportunity to never settle down? Love this!
Absolutely! What a time to be alive. So. Much. Possibility 🙂
This was a great article. Full of energy and excitement that I can bravely share with you. I’ve been on the road for 20 years singing in hotels, on cruise ships and music festivals. Those questions you mentioned that people used to ask me never bothered me before. However, now, the questions have changed to, if you’re not famous by now, when will you settle down. Ouch! Turning 51 on the road feels different somehow. Life still happens. I’ve recently ended a relationship in one of my favorite countries/cities (Stockholm, Sweden). Lost a best friend in Oslo, Norway last month. I began analyzing and doubting that my wanderlust was good for me. As I sit here in Bangkok, in the middle of a 12 month contract with a 5 star hotel, I continue to wonder–where could I live? Which country has most of what I love/need? But the thoughts overwhelm me. Scary to be on the ground with a key for an apartment that belongs to me. I mean, I freak out if I had to have the same neighbors for the rest of my life. Then I realize, I’m just not into “settling down”. First I came across the Carl Jung archetype “The Explorer” and then your article. Panic OVER! I’m an Explorer that is extremely blessed to be able to do what I love to to (Sing and connect with people) and travel! So, thank you so much for your courageous lifestyle! It truly hit the spot! 🙂